we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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