The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
