I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
