I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Your dad touched me again.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
