He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize