i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
