sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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