Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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