I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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