He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
