He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize