Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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