Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
