i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
