Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
