Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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