Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize