I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
