Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The power of my boobs compel you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
