Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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