i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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