I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
