Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
