Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

Fav 25 6926 1274
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(708): View more from Illinois

Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic

Fav 10 4956 1398
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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

Fav 43 14863 2794
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(985): View more from Louisiana

Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

Fav 9 1310 4085
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(812): View more from Indiana

He just called me juicy booty via text message.

Fav 6 2155 1223
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(512): View more from Texas

did you find a tooth?

(254): View more from Texas

did you lose one?

Fav 16 3939 1701
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(616): View more from Michigan

She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday

Fav 5 1420 770
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(989): View more from Michigan

Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.

Fav 1 529 500
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?

Fav 1 28 19
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