i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im holly from the hills drunk
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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