that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
