I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
