STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Found your dick twin last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
