Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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