i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So squirting runs in the family.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
