At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
