Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
