I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sobbing to NWA
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
