youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
