butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
