that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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