The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
