I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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