C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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