My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
