that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
