I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we're making bets on your personal life
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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