Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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