paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
