"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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