i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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