Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
