those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
