party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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