Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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