yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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