What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
