and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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