Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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