TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
