Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
