the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
