the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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