My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
