he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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