Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
