My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize