make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
