All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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