YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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