so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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