I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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