im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize