I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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